'I could find out myself, but it was so much easier asking your soul'

There was another time, maybe in 2003, probably 2004, where, again, I used to do an enormous amount of work video for Guru. Guru had everything filmed and there was a lot of the equipment. I would carry cameras, tripods, lights, cabling—most of it by myself. So, after a while, my physical started breaking down. I was a lot younger then, but still, wrist problems, back problems… everything was torturing me. I was also not in a good spiritual space because the two can be related. Also, I hadn't slept much for many days. Whatever excuses, I wasn't in a good space.

All the same, I was very lucky because I used to go to Guru's house all the time. Most mornings I would be there for several hours during Guru’s lifting. And in the evenings, I would come too, and sometimes in the afternoon. I was very lucky to have that outer physical connection.

So, I told Guru, “I'm not in a good space. I'm having all these problems.”

Guru said, “I'm concentrating on your soul right now.”

It was amazing! Within a few moments I felt this incredible light pouring into me—and I'm not someone who really goes on feelings too much. But I felt this light pouring, pouring…. It was almost like whenever I moved, I felt I would float in the air. I felt such intense joy, and it lasted for probably two to three days. I actually just felt, “Wow, I really could get realised any moment now.” I had that sort of intense joy.

I was very lucky. I asked Guru about it several years later. Why did Guru go and ask my soul? How come Guru didn't himself know about it?

Guru said, “Well, of course, I could find out myself, but it was so much easier asking your soul. Your soul knows everything about you. So that was the quickest and easiest way to do it.”

Your soul knows
What the Supreme in your Master
Is doing for you.
Your mind does not know,
And does not even want to know.

Sri Chinmoy 1

• 1. Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, part 189, Agni Press, 1993